The Canine Waymarker: An In Depth Interview

Here at Team Hikenutty headquarters we have one team member who is of the canine persuasion. Since this is going to be a slow weekend for me, as far as waymarking goes, I decided to take some time to interview Frodo the Waydog and get his take on this fascinating new family hobby of ours. In the following interview "H" will be my portion of the interview and "F" will be his.

H: So Frodo, I'd like to do an interview to get a dog's perspective on waymarking. Do you think you have the time?
F: I'll pencil you in between the 11:30 licking of my butt and my 5 hour mid day siesta.
H: I'll give you a chicken strip afterwards.
F: Well, why didn't you say so! Let's go.

H: So Frodo, tell me a little about yourself.
F: Hmm.. Well, I am a member of the rat terrier breed of dogs. For the uninformed out there, that's "rat" because I'm a ferocious terrifying rat hunter, not because I look like one. I strike fear in the hearts of rats, possums, squirr--
H: You pee yourself when the doorbell rings.
F: You're not going to print that are you!! That pee is to ward off intruders. Urine can be a great deterrent to some, you know.
H: Tell me about it. [Pause] Anyhow, let's get back to the interview. Do you have a favorite food?
F: Oh, food, now that's a great topic! I would say my favorite food would be those dried chicken strips you get, but I'm also quite fond of the occasional snot filled tissue. Oh, and pine cones, those are tasty. Oh, and I also like snacking on twigs, good roughage, you know. Umm... q-tips are good, especially if they've been used, and... well, I pretty much eat anything. But chicken and paper products would have to be on the top of my list. (BTW, Quilted Charmin is soft AND tasty.)

H: Do you have a favorite activity?
F: Humping my blanket. DEFINITELY, humping my blanket.
H: What about waymarking? Do you enjoy our waymarking adventures?
F: Can I be honest with you? [H: yes, go ahead] Other than a few categories, I'm not so fond of it.
H: What?!!! I thought you loved it? I thought you were enjoying our family adventures.
F: Well, first of all, do I have the option to not participate? NO. Honestly, it completely stresses me out. There are always a bunch of people around, cars, squirrels that you won't let me chase... How could that be fun for a dog? I get so anxious that I crap all over the sidewalk and then you get all pissy about it. Like I can help myself?!! Why don't we geocache anymore? I really miss that. Out in the woods, crashing throught the underbrush, hunting squirrel-errr, I mean hunting down a metal box. Those were the days.
H: Well, you said that there were a few categories you enjoyed. Which categories are those?
F: Without a doubt, Off leash Dog Parks. That is the best category to ever hit that website. No one will EVER outdo that category. Also, I think you should really consider trying to find some Dog-friendly restaurants to waymark. Oh, by the way, I'm still angry about you putting me in the car while we waymarked that pet cemetery. I tried to tell you that peeing on a headstone is a form of honoring a dearly departed dog. It's not like I pooped on it. I only poop on the cat graves. But would you listen? Noooooooo.
H: Any other comments on waymarking with team Hikenutty?
F: I really think you should stop dissing the fast food categories. I mean, some of those places give out dog biscuits in their drive-thrus. That's attention to detail. Only a FINE culinary establishment would hand out dog biscuits. Plus, Hikenutty, Jr. drops me a french fry on occasion. So, are we done yet? I need to go lick my balls. Oh, wait? That's right. Someone had them cut off! Hmm. Who could that be? A psychopath? A teste-munching zombie? Oh that's right. It was you.
H: Frodo, get out of here. You're such a whiner.
F: Wait, you promised chicken! And do you think you could throw in a chunk of those liver treats?